Shiatsu Massage for Darin - posted by Darin

Maggie and I have enjoyed massages of all kinds, but until this past weekend, the closest I had ever come to a Shiatsu massage was one of those chairs at Brookstone. But before I talk about my recent massage, let me tell you a bit about my massage experiences so far.
In Austin there are a variety strip-mall locations that offer aromatherapy massages. They typically show you to a room and tell you to disrobe to your level of comfort and get under the sheet on the massage bed. You disrobe while alone in the room. When the massage "therapist" returns, they uncover various parts of your body and rub your cares away with scented oil. They leave while you are still on the table under the sheet, and meet you outside the room after you have dressed to greet you and collect a tip.
In Costa Rica, we had a similar massage experience, except that the massage table was located in an outdoor gazebo back in the rainforest between several rushing streams of natural hot water from the nearby volcano.
In Thailand, we were given "sample" massages while visiting the King's residence in Bangkok. If you liked the sample, you could write your hotel name and room number on a piece of paper, and someone would show up later that day to give you the full treatment. Maggie and I signed up for this and two middle aged Thai ladies showed up at our room later that day. A Thai massage involves rythmic pressing, rubbing, and stretching, with no oil. We kept our undergarments on. The ladies talked to one another in Thai the whole time, sometimes giggling (no doubt at my fat hairy body). During the course of the massage, the ladies climbed onto the bed, straddled us, and bent our arms and legs into various poses. I enjoyed it and it was very cheap (about $10 US for an hour). Maggie thought there was too much "pressing" and stretching, and didn't like the fact that the ladies' hands smelled of onions (when they touched Maggie's head).
The Swedish massage we had at a spa here in Singapore was more like what you get in Austin, except the person climbs onto the bed and straddles you for part of the massage. They use scented oil. I wore the supplied paper "panty" that looked much like an adult diaper.
Now to the Shiatsu massage. Maggie booked us a couples massage at a spa in a nearby mall. They have a huge facility, with separate jacuzzi, steam baths, saunas, cold plunge pool, etc for men and women. After changing into the spa-supplied shorts and robe, I met Maggie in the common lounge for a fresh carrot juice while we waited for our "therapists". Soon we were shown to a room with two massage beds, each of which had two parallel black bars hanging down from the ceiling directly over the bed. Maggie requested an aromatherapy massage and I got the Shiatsu. The tiny Chinese lady looked at me to confirm my request: "Step on you?". I confirmed: "Yes. Step on me".
She unfastened my robe and removed it without knowing what was underneath. She left my shorts on me. I lay face down on the bed with my face in the donut. She laid some thick towels over the length of my body and started squeezing and pressing my shoulders while she stood at the head of the bed. As she worked her way around my body, the pressing and squeezing became more intense. Mostly it felt good, but there were times when I tensed up a bit from the pain. She eventually climbed on top of me and started working her fists into my back. I was glad she could not see my wincing and grimacing.
Finally, she stood on my back and walked up and down my spine. She did some things that were so painful I began to wonder if anyone has ever been paralyzed from a massage. Although I had promised myself I would not make any noises, regardless of the pain, she caught me off guard. What I thought was a gentle walk around my upper back, was in fact, preparation for a pounce. She jumped twice, quickly on my upper back and I heard and felt more things snap than I thought possible. I let out a combination of a grunt, cough, and startled cry. I expected her to jump off and ask if I was OK, but she was undeterred by my noise-making. (incidentally, she kept her balance by hanging onto the black bars that were above the bed). I became equally fearful that one of two things would happen: 1) she would hurt so badly that I would scream; 2) she would squeeze a very loud fart out of me whilst walking on my lower back. Thankfully, neither happened.
My final whimper was induced when she had me sit up on the bed and she got behind me with her knees in my back. She laced my fingers behind my neck and told me to relax. As soon as I started to relax, she pulled me backward and up onto her knees to elicit even more cracking from my back. I was amazed that I had any cracks left in me. It was the only time I heard her make a noise, which was a determined grunt as she pulled my massive weight off the bed and up onto her knees. I felt humbled that such a small lady could handle a man my size the way she did. She offered me some delicious ginger tea and then put my robe on me and tied it. That part was the most uncomfortable for some reason. She was standing behind me, reaching around and tieing my robe. I felt very awkward.
The biggest surprise is that I was not sore at all that day, nor am I sore today. I guess she knew what she was doing. I think I'll get another Shiatsu massage someday. Now that I know what to expect, I might enjoy it more the next time.